Thursday, 16 May 2013

Then God Created Woman.


Having spent my previous post pointing out all the obvious reasons why not to date a younger man, I thought that, in the name of equality, it would only be fair to now point out why one should date an older women. To re-address the balance, so to speak.

Contrary to popular belief, a woman does not blossom fully until her late 30’s at least. Far be it for me to criticise a 20 year old, for, indeed, I was one once, but it is of my opinion, (and always has been, for those doubting my motives and suggesting there is an underlying coincidence in my writing) that a ‘woman’ is far sexier than a ‘girl’. 

Take random celebrity examples - Demi Moore or Miley Cyrus? Both mental unstable, admittedly, but, whereas, you’ll find Demi quietly sectioning herself for a few months then discreetly returning to the public gaze more fabulous and toned than ever, Miley dyes her hair smokes some pot and spends half her waking life whining to anyone that will listen about how hard it is to be a celebrity. Catherine Zeta Jones or Katy Perry? Uma Thurman or Brittany Spears? Julianne Moore or Lindsay Lohan? I think I have made my point. 

You see, it my belief that life doesn't jade a women, Lord no, quite the opposite, a well lived life, chaotic or otherwise, shapes a girl into a woman; turning a giggly insecure, albeit wrinkle-free, child into somebody who, quite frankly, couldn't give a rat's ass about most things anymore, and (here comes the science bit) what does not giving rat's ass make? it makes you h.o.t ... hot. 

The more basic of men amongst us will argue that a mute blonde, barely through puberty on their arm far outweighs the trade in of an older woman with an opinion and much polished personality. However, I would argue that a) men such as these would fare well in a red light district in Bangkok and no doubt return with exactly what they are looking for in terms of intellectual stimulation and life enhancing  conversation and b) they clearly haven’t spent time to consider the list below. There is more to a women in her 40’s than laughter lines. 

 Confidence - An older woman undoubtedly has more confidence. Having had more worldly experience, both positive and negative, she is far less likely to give a flying f**k about most things in life. Whereas a girl in her 20’s will spend hours agonising over (and asking - groan) if her bum looks big in this, a 40 year old couldn’t care less what you think about her bum, she likes it, and that, my friend, is all that matters. 

She wont  try and pursued you to go clubbing in sweaty nightclubs until 5 in the morning and take mind altering drugs. Or share a bottle of Jack Daniel's with 5 friends whilst sitting on a bean bag in an unknown strangers studio flat in Brixton. Make no mistake, an older women knows how and when to get drunk, the difference being, it is on Chablis in Ciconnes ... at midday ... because she can.

She wont want to have babies or change her Facebook status within a week to ‘in a relationship’. The beauty of dating an older women is that the likelihood is she has either had babies, who are now mercifully rarely visible, or has no intention of polluting her life with such dependents. Meaning that, when she fucks you (and boy, will she fuck you) she is doing it to have a mind blowing orgasm not in the hope that you might impregnate her and you can start talking baby names in a months time. 

She has perfected the art of the blow job and understands their value within a relationship. An older woman, God willing, has collected a history of various partners and sexual experiences. She has had good and bad sex, and, as a consequence, knows exactly what she does and doesn't want. Meaning, (and this is the good news) that when it comes to the bedroom, she will not only have perfected the art of a blow job but will have no qualms in telling you how, what and where she likes to be touched. Whereas you are likely to waste the first 6 months of a relationship with a younger woman trying to second guess her sexual preferences because she is too embarrassed to tell you that her G-spot is not quite as near to her belly button as you think it is, a more mature woman will have told you how to make her come before you’ve paid the taxi fare. Less time for guessing more time for fun, simples. 

She has her own money and spends it on underwear and good wine ... both of which have become increasingly more important to her with time. Very little can upset a  women wearing La Perla and drinking Premier Cru, even you, young man. 

She has big boobs and brain, one might have been bought one might have been developed. Either way, they are both likely to be bigger and far more fabulous than before. 


She does not whine. She leaves. Call it a better understanding of time, a shorter patience for things which displease her or a lack of interest in banal conversation. An older women is likely to spend far less time thrashing it out, whining in your ear, or good forbid sitting you down for lengthy heart felt conversation about ‘where the relationship is going’ she is more likely, however, to move on when she is not getting exactly what she wants from the relationship anymore. Meaning that, not only will you be spared the torture of having to discuss your feelings but you are safe in the knowledge that when she is with you she is with you for no other reason than she wants to be there. 

So there you have it, an older woman's stomach might not be as flat as it used to be but, my God, can she have a conversation, know a good wine and suck your cock like she’s done a 4 year degree in the art of fellatio ... look forward to the future boys, it’s looking bright. 

6 comments:

  1. OK. You've convinced me :)

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  2. mark my words, you won't regret it!

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  3. I've long been convinced, but thank you for the erudite reminder....

    ~EA

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  4. Very true, and I think its the same for reasons to date an older man- they won't try and buy you 3 for 2 WKDs, a home cooked meal doesnt include beans on toast, and a date doesnt mean just going back to theirs. xx
    http://heroineinheels.blogspot.co.uk/

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  5. Am going out on a date with a younger guy tonight; christ, I hope he hasn't read this, I have SO MUCH to live up to... ;)

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