Wednesday, 23 October 2013

Lazy Mother F*****s.


Today I read an interesting article on online dating. It is a subject, of which, I am all too familiar, being interested in the dynamics of people’s quest for love and, although not something I have done for a while, an area which I have certainly had my fair share of experiences. 

The main complaint, I understand, when it comes to online dating, from both men and women seems to be the ease in which people use a degree of creative license on their profiles. That is to say that, men, apparently, lie about their height and age, women about their weight. Both, according to a recent survey, use old pictures which show them in the most flattering, albeit somewhat outdated, light. 

And although I can’t, personally, recall ever having had an experience of finding myself on a date with a person who is nothing like their profile (Oh wait, yes, that wife thing, a few of them have manage to remember their height but totally forgotten, until about date 3, that they have committed themselves to a small thing called marriage. Minor details, eh.) I am assured that a creative license is common practise and something which, largely, puts people off internet dating. 

However, as we were, more surprising, nay, more depressing than a white lie about a few inches here and there, (or the odd wife stashed away in the kitchen) is that people are now creating a hobby out of connecting with people online with absolutely no intention of ever meeting up with them. 'Armchair daters' I believe they are called. 

The words, life, and, get one, spring to mind.

Maybe at the ripe age of 36 (repeat after me ... I’m in my prime, I’m in my prime.) I am a little jaded with the whole idea of talking shit to people I’ve never met before and in an age overrun by the internet, smart phones, online networking and grown adults queueing for new model phone handsets I’ve become so frigging grateful for human interaction, that the idea that somebody would actually want to spend time talking online with someone who they are never going to meet, is quite beyond my realms of comprehension.

Isn’t life too short!?? 

The only possible conclusion I can draw from this is that, the armchair daters in question, either have a partner already, and are doing it because they’re bored/an arsehole, in which case, they need to take a long hard look at the relationship they’re in and get the hell out of it. Or they’re not in a relationship, in which case they need get the hell out and find them some kind of life/confidence coach/internet addiction self help group. 

Jeez, sometimes I feel like smashing my head against a brick wall  with the amount of time I spend, nay, waste, on Facebook and they’re people I've known for 20 years, half of which I'm blood related too!! 

To imagine that someone would chose to make small talk with a total stranger under the pretence of potentially dating them (or not) makes me want to weep .... Or track down the first boyfriend I ever had, tell him all is forgiven and exit the dating scene for all and eternity. 


Aside from anything, the odd thing about online dating sites is that the majority of people on them actually want a date, that is to say, they crazily expect the person they are spending 30 quid a month chatting to, about where they went to school and what their favourite music is, to eventually suggest a coffee or a drink. 

Else what’s the fucking point!!!!!??

This modern world is hectic, frantic, selfish, manic, so much so that the easiest way for people to connect with one another is fast becoming, logging in to online dating sites in the hope that a few pictures and a brief profile description, might one day lead you to 'the one.' 

Sigh. It’s hard enough. 

You want something to do in your Armchair? Have a wank ... it will waste far fewer peoples time and leaving you feeling a lot more fulfilled.  

And, yes, that is my answer to everything. 

1 comment:

  1. I can't believe people would waste their time joining a dating site without ever intending to see anyone - but then again, the lazy arse couch potato culture is far-reaching. I've also dabbled in online dating in recent years and my main problem, aside from people looking older and fatter than their photos was serial daters who were on these sites for years - and if you checked a few you would see the same old faces on at least 2 different dating sites. What's the point? Oh and also the ones who dated you until they got to sleep with you and suddenly decided they 'weren't ready' for a relationship!

    DSM x

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